The Dangers of Legalizing Gay “Marriage” — (Satire)

The Dangers of Legalizing Gay “Marriage”

By David Smith

As I am sure you are well aware, a great miscarriage of justice recently occurred in our nation when the Supreme Court, reaching far beyond it’s proper authority, decided that it’s okay for the gays to get “married.” Now, I’m not homophobic or anything, but as proper Americans it is undeniable that this threatens the sanctity of our marriages, imposes upon our religious beliefs, leads to unabated debauchery, and presents a grave danger for our children.

Letting these homosexuals get “married” threatens the sanctity of my real marriage. My wife Margret and I have been married for 17 years, man and woman, as God intended. Who is the Supreme Court to come in and say that marriage means something else? Doing so cheapens the bond that my wife and I share. If we just let any two people get “married” then real marriage becomes next to meaningless!

God was very clear when he told us what marriage is supposed to be in the Bible, and not once did he say anything about Adam and Steve. Being gay is sinful, and to let gays “marry” each other is nothing but a disgusting perversion of what God created marriage to be: between one man and one woman. Marriage is a Christian practice, of which we have the utmost respect for.

This is obviously just the first step down a slippery slope into unlimited debauchery, let the gays get married today and tomorrow people will be getting married to animals! We as a nation cannot afford to move even an inch from the traditional values that this country was founded on or all will be lost. We must make our stand here, or before we know it pedophilia will be legalized and our children will be stolen away.

Which brings me to the final dilemma, what are we to tell our children? How are we supposed to explain these disgusting behaviors to our innocent young children? I don’t want my kids growing up in a world where “gay is okay.” How is a child supposed to understand these things when it so easy to be led astray by the worlds secular lies? In order to prevent this from happening, we must refuse to consider these “relationships” as being actually valid. In order to pull this off, the state must do the same.

Join me, and the millions of other concerned Americans, in fighting this atrocious development now. Click here to sign our petition!

2 thoughts on “The Dangers of Legalizing Gay “Marriage” — (Satire)

  1. This is a fine piece of satire, and as such it forces one to engage with the absurdity and illogic of the rhetoric against gay marriage… however, if anything, it doesn’t go far enough in its caricature of statements by opponents, so much as collect them. I’m not sure that you couldn’t (sadly enough) find a post that sounds exactly like this, and that draws the same conclusions. The challenge, should you write another satirical post, is to find ways of stretching and expanding the absurd statements (which is no small task when reality is already this unbelievable) in order to make the outrageous even more so, while depicting some sort of action or attitude that underscores the hypocrisy or absurdity of the position serious held.

    This isn’t a perfect analog, but this is one of the best (and funniest) pieces of satire I remember reading / seeing on The Onion. Might help keep expanding your thinking on how to get a sharper absurdist edge to your writing.

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